The year 2020 or as it is also known, the year everything changed.  Back when the Covid Pandemic started lets face it most of us had never experienced anything of this magnatude before and a lot of confusion immedietly set in.  Lets face it for most when you were first told you needed to stay home, shelter in place, isolate or quarantine there was not only mass confusion and some concern, most had the thought of “hey this isn’t so bad, I get to work in my jammies, ditch a commute, hang out with my family, I can do this.  But in reality we had no idea what we were about to be hit with and how long things would last.  Fast forward to now where its been a few months depending on where you live and you cant wait to get back to the office, you miss traffic jams and what you would give to just “get back to normal”.

For many the reality of quarantine, isolation, shelter in home or whatever you call it, it has been an interesting challenge, balancing home and work lives all in one space that even in the largest homes seems to feel like you are living in a small box. To say its been a stressful experience for most is probably a gross understatement.  While there has been those optimists who have tried to put their positive spin on this time touting its a “blessing in disguise” or a “time to reflect and improve ones self , for many the added stress of financial loss and school closures brought more to the quarantine table than just a “cool I can work from home a few days, no biggie, I welcome the slow down and extra family time”.  Simply put for most we are exhausted, cranky, worried and consumed with uncertainty. Not to mention if you are someone who has lost their job and have creditors breathing down your neck and not sure when or how you can put food on the table next, to hear someone tell you "this will pass" or some other sort of positivity, you truly dont want to hear it becuase all you are feeling is anger and worry. 

A few sentences ago I said the word “Uncertainty”.  Its truly the most overwhelming part of the fatigue many are experiencing. We are humans who have a brain that thrives on predictability, and lets face it most things in our lives right now are very unpredictable.  Its like being in the middle of the ocean and not seeing land anywhere, as a matter of fact you are not even sure which way to start sailing so you just stall out, stay put, just allow your boat to drift and honestly for many.......... give up. 

Covid/ Coronavirus, whatever you may be calling it, has been the giant elephant in our lives the last few months. Its altered milestones like graduations and celebrations such as birthdays and holidays, and halted family gatherings and activities.  With these changes came grief, it was a loss in our lives. Grief doesn't have to only be connected to the losing of a loved one through death, grief = loss of any kind. I wrote about grief and the virus a few months ago in another blog post. With grieving, comes the feeling of being drained and even emotionally numb.  Its the part in the above ocean story where you just sit and let the boat drift, not having energy or care to even try figuring out where to go, your tired.  Your the kind of tired that drains our motivation to do anything or even try. 

So are you feeling drained?  Your not alone.  The good news is you can recharge your system.  If you allow yourself to stay drained and “stuck”, it will only cause further mental and physical health concerns and your immune system will take a hit.  Pretty sure we need that immune system these days more than ever too.  So it becomes important to start practicing that self-care you may of heard of and thought was for others. What can you do? Get out into nature by taking a hike or even a social distanced walk in a local park, go fishing, or even on a bike ride around the neighborhood. Watch a funny movie on your couch, laughing helps release “feel good” hormones. Try cooking a new recipe that may take more steps than you normally would do.  If you are someone who used to do yoga or meditation, try putting these back into your daily routine and if you are someone who hasn't tried these practices, hop on youtube and look for some beginner video's and give it a try  Because we are social creatures, reach out via phone or computer to friends and loved ones to say hello, chances are they are in need of some chat time as well.   Its important to invest in yourself, relieve some of your stress fatigue, because if you are not charged yourself, you cant be there for your loved ones. Because I was always helping others I would forget to take care of myself in the process and I was always reminded that I could not pour from an empty cup.  I needed that reminder often to remind and allow myself to stop and take a moment for my own care so I could continue to help those I served.

Other Things That Can Be Helpful: 

* Changing your perspective on the situation.  While you are most certainly going through some difficult circumstances and it might seem like your situation will never get better, allow yourself to go through the grief process, acknowledge your situation, and remember that nothing lasts forever unless you allow it.  One of the biggest things and the thing I probably say the most and in pretty much every single client session is “Dont waste your time trying to change the things you dont have control or the power to change, instead focus on changing what you can change”.  Truth bomb time:  I am sorry to tell you but you dont have control over what the virus will do, who or what establishments it affects or even when this pandemic will end. The thing you can focus on is what ways you navigate the now............ look for solutions to what you can control.  

* Stop and breathe.  Breathing is automatic but paying attention to how you are breathing, your inhale and exhale, can make the difference between continuing an anxious state and rest. To engage your parasympathetic nervous system, which is in charge of your body’s calm and rest, long deep breaths are needed.  Be aware of your breathing, practicing mindfulness can help with this but you dont have to be mindful to take a moment to stop and take a few long breaths.  Inhale slow and long, hold a couple seconds, and exhale slowly.  By doing this a few times not only signals the parasympathetic nervous system to bring on the calm, but also gives your brain much needed oxygen boost.  When we are in a calmer state and out of our head so to speak, it is much easier to look at situations and the internal dialogue you are having and come up with solutions, take action and make forward progress. It is important to slow down and take the time to breathe to help you get centered and stop the cycle of anxiety from taking over.  

Normal........ are you still there?

Throughout this pandemic we have heard the phrase “once things get back to normal” or something similar.  Those who know me know I am a no BS type of person and a straight shooter so with that said stap in for some more truth.  I hate to be the bearer of bad news but “going back to normal”.... well that is not going to happen. It would be nice if we could “go back” but with everything that has happened over the last few months (not excluding the pandemic), For many they have had to really evaluate their lives, purpose and more.  For some new jobs and entire careers have been formed and family dynamics may have changed. You may even be a family with children who will be starting school in a whole different way than what has been done before, again changing the ways families operate. So when we talk about “going back to normal”, it really is wanting to go back to a time that we remember as normal and if you look around you will see that there is not much of that "same" we had pre-pandemic.  While change is scary, and our human brains hate change, we cant live in the past, a past that truly no longer exists. We need to look at the new changes, new situations and learn how to live differently moving forward in a “new world” both current and post-pandemic.  The “normal” we all talk about is truly an illusion over the truth we are currently living and will be living post-pandemic.

So how do I cope with the new normal?  Take this moment(s)  to think about how you want to live today and how you can take that into tomorrow and the future.  What do you want your “new normal” to look like. Now is the perfect time to define who you want to be and how you want your new future to be.