Scientists have spent a lot of time studying what makes us happy (and what doesn’t) and I am not so sure that is something that can be “studied”. We do however know happiness can predict health benefits and longevity.

But here is the thing, happiness isn’t something that just happens to you, it actually takes conscious work. Especially now a days when most are walking around unhappy and want everyone to join in, to that I say "been there done that and I like this side of the happy fence a whole lot better".

See everyone has the power to make the small changes necessary in their behaviors, surroundings and relationships that can help put themselves on a course for a happier life. Because happiness comes from within, its something you have to create or allow. And happiness looks different for everyone. 

While we all have the power to look inside and create our happiness, what often find living within us is negative thoughts and negative self-talk that usually comes from past events, not so great relationships and even environmental toxicity, keeping us stuck from living our happy.

So does this mean one can’t be happy?  Absolutely not, it just means that you may need to work a little harder to tame those negative inner voices.

How does one start that?:

1. Conquer Negative Thinking - All humans have a tendency to be a bit more doom and gloom rather than sunshine and rainbows, dwelling more on bad experiences than positive ones. Through past events and life you have probably built up a good library of negative thoughts about yourself. Here is the thing, you do not have to stay living those negatives, it just means you have to work a little harder to train your brain to conquer those thoughts. 

How do you conquer those thoughts you might askt?  

• Don’t try to stop negative thoughts. Telling yourself “I have to stop thinking about this,” only makes you think about it more. Instead, own it! and acknowledge it.  
• Challenge your negative thoughts. challenge and change those irrational thoughts through questioning.The goal is to get you from a negative mindset of (“I’m a failure.”) to a more positive one of (“ok so I missed the mark on that one but  this is just one setback and I can learn from it and be better”).

  Some other questions to ask yourself when those negative thoughts are present: 

   “What is the evidence for this thought?” 

   “Am I basing this on facts? Or feelings?”  

•    “Could I be misinterpreting the situation?”

The bottom line: Negative thinking happens to all of us, but if we recognize it and challenge it, you are taking a big step toward a happier you.

2. Rewrite Your Story - Writing about yourself and personal experiences and examining them can lead to 
behavioral changes and improved happiness. Some research suggests that writing in a personal journal for 10-15 minutes a day can lead to a boost in overall happiness and well-being, in part because it allows us to express our emotions, helps us be mindful of our circumstances and resolve inner conflicts we may have going on. We can change our perceptions of ourselves and identify obstacles that stand in the way of our personal well-being.  P.S, you don't need a fancy journal, grap a notepad or notebook and start writing.

3) Get Moving! - When people get up and move, even a little, they tend to be happier. You don't have to go run a marathon,just get out of the house, get a change of scenery. It doesn't cost a penny to walk around your block, your yard or nearby park and chances are you might have a dog that can use the walk too, so grab fido and get out that door!  

4. Next up,... Practice Optimism - Find your inner ray of sunshine. Optimism doesn’t mean ignoring the reality of a dire situation, it just means that you are not going to go for the worst case scenario right off the bat. Instead rethink whats going on, look at things thru a different lens. And studies have shown that thinking positive thoughts and surrounding yourself with positive people really does help. Optimism, like pessimism, can be infectious. So make a point to hang out with or surround yourself with optimistic people and if you dont have anyone that foots the bill, be that optimistic personand you can then be the infection for others. 

    Happiness, yes its a thing.

    It really does and can exist,

                if you let it.
 

Sadly happiness is a thing that is not present in a lot of individuals' lives. Its odd to me that we often feel guilty being happy, even a tiny bit of happy or joy, like it's just expected to be miserable all the time. I actually found myself hiding my happiness because I didn’t want to make others feel bad.

Give yourself permission to be happy and make no apologies for others issues. The saying "misery loves company" is real so be prepared, others will try to bring you back down to the pit of despair.

Choose Happy, I have lived both and happy...well... I like happy, its a much better life.