So here it is just after the start of February, so have you given up on that New Years resolution already?  Don't feel bad you are not alone. Statistically only 25% of people make it just past the 30 day mark while only 8% actually end up fulfilling their set resolution.  In most cases it's not entirely your fault. Most individuals don't realize what a resolution really is and what is actually needed to accomplish them, resulting in an unfulfilled or “failed” resolution, and let's face it as soon as you did not see your desired changes immediately, you chalk it up to another “failed attempt”, toss it aside and go back to the comfort zone/old way and giving up.  You giving up then results in the gates of negative thoughts to be open, causing further emotional damage where you spend the next several days, weeks and months beating yourself up. This cycle will unfortunately continue over and over again until you really understand what’s needed to truly make the changes you want to make.

To start lets better  understand why resolutions don't  necessarily work and why you should be setting goals instead, to minimize the feeling of failure.

First let's break down what is what: 

A resolution is a final decision to do something, it's generally broad and vague like “I want to lose weight”, “I want a new job”, or “I want to decrease my debt”.  There is no real road map or plan attached to resolutions. These are generally considered ideas or dreams.

A goal is a desired result, it can often provide direction toward that big resolution.  Goals are specific and more actionionable. You can make several goals leading to your overall “resolution” to help you better attain it.  For instance if your resolution is to lose weight your goal(s) may be to first start an exercise routine going to the gym 3 times a week, lose 10 lbs within 30 days etc. Again they are specific and once you reach these goals (which often means getting used to a new mindset, routine etc.) then you can expand on them.  Goals can always be revised, the more specific the better. Don't think that “oh I failed so let's give up, it didn’t work”, evaluate and revise as needed until you get what does work for you so you can stick to it and get the forward movement toward that bigger end goal, also known as your “resolution”. Keep in mind change will not and does not happen overnight or in one day, it's a journey, a process.   

To be honest  I don’t really use the word resolution in my own life, generally I just say goal(s).  I will have a big picture goal (my dream so to speak) and then I look at what mini goals or steps I need to take to move me to accomplish that big dream/goal.    

A little something about change.  Change is a process that happens over months and newsflash, it  usually involves more than just what you think needs changed. Wanting to lose weight or stop smoking requires more than just stop buying the items causing you to smoke or eat poorly, in most cases changing behaviors and mindsets are also needed and if you have a “failed resolution” it’s probably because these things were probably never factored into your original goal or “resolution”. A true plan of attack was never fully formulated, so it sets you up for failure before you even get started. behaviors you wanted to change in the first place.  

So if you want to make a change in your life, reach a bigger goal, dream or dare I say a resolution, form a plan.  Set mini goals that are specific, evaluate them often and make necessary adjustments and give yourself time and allow yourself to slip a little while learning new habits, behaviors and mindset.